tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8750599440113237612024-02-20T08:33:24.815-08:00Clive Buccatti"But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?" - Mark TwainClive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-50415443875061660152015-04-12T08:00:00.001-07:002015-04-12T08:00:50.670-07:00“And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death” – Genesis 27:2<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The descent down the
stairs of Dreamwood Terrace felt like an eternity. Each step lowering me more
and more towards where that women lay. The closer I got the more strongly I
could feel her presence. The chill began to envelope me. She was laying out on
the pavement underneath apt no 43. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>She looked dead. Maybe
she was dead. Maybe she has always been dead. It would create a nice little sense
of irony. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Need a hand?” <i>I watch
my own hand extend to reach her as if from afar. As if I’m no longer the one
controlling my body. She grabs my hand but I don’t feel anything. My body has
gone completely numb. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Why help me? You’re the one that put me here in the first
place.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Self-defense sister. The law views it as a legitimate
excuse so why shouldn’t God?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>She stares at me for a
couple of seconds then before she leaves the question that has taken every
ounce of strength I have to not ask. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey. What’s your deal? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>She stares at me in
disbelief. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What have I done to offend you to such a great degree?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Again she stares. Again
she says nothing. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Look. I just want to go home and you coming in here and
making me push you out a window is not good for my image.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your image? Since when do you care about your image? You
want to know why I keep bugging you?
Because you insist on messing up the Plan. You insist on trying to undermine
my authority. Once you stop ending lives before their time then I’ll leave you
alone.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ending lives?” <i>I race
through my memory. Trying to think of anything she could mean. </i>“What do you
mean ‘ending live’?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you really so dense? I mean you killing people that
aren’t supposed to die.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you serious? That’s what this is about? I haven’t
killed anyone. Interfering with you pointless little plan is not why I came
here. Call me Ripley cause believe it or not, not everything I do is because of
you. I don’t wake up and think ‘Oh. How am I gonna piss off Catherine today?’ I
have my own life and I’m just trying to live it. So please. Tell me what you mean
by ‘Ending Lives.’ Cause if there are actually people dying outside of your
Plan well then, sister, you’ve got a much bigger problem to worry about than
me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
____________<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a beautiful day/Sky falls it feels like/It’s a
beautiful day/Don’t let it…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Damn. That was a nice
alarm clock. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Getting out of bed is
always the hardest after hearing the monotonous chord progression of “Beautiful
Day” that U2 cursed the world with. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I think I had a dream
last night and I think it meant something. But it might have been a memory. It
was all just so vivid and real. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I go over to the diner
next door to get some eggs. I see a little Asian man sitting alone at a booth. There
wasn’t anything special about him but for some reason I was drawn to him.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mind if I sit here?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The man motioned to
seat as if to say </i>“Not at all.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So,” <i>the man looked
tired. Worn out. </i>“What’s your story?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The man looked up at
me. Shocked I would ask such an intrusive question. </i>“A long one.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Isn’t everyone’s?”<i> I
waited for more of a response. Any sign that he was going to say anything. </i>“Alright
fine. Keep your secrets.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“My name is Yesu.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yesu huh? That’s an interesting name. I’m Clive. Nice to
meet you Yesu.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So what is your story?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“My story? I don’t really have a story. At least not one
that’s worth telling. I’ve made a lot of mistakes but I’m trying to fix them
now. My whole life I’ve been the bad guy and I’m tired of it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You do not seem too bad to me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really? Well thanks. Now if only I could get God to see me
the way you do.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You have more than you think.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-88319856393888441262015-03-31T19:46:00.001-07:002015-04-11T20:43:59.226-07:00“The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.” – 1 Corinthians 15:42-44<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">The dim sunlight
peeking through the windows blinded Clive, angry that he gave half the day to
last night. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">“I hate hangovers.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">It’s been a long time
since I’ve felt tears. A long time since the taste of salt has been so much as
to force me to try and cover it up with liquid preoccupation. A long time since
I’ve felt the never ending droll of pain caressing the inside of my temporal
lobe. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Why did it happen? I’m
not supposed to have weaknesses. I’m a fucking demon. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Not anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">What? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Don’t you get it? When God sent himself to earth he gave up
his divinity. That was the whole point. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">What does that even
mean? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Wow. Look who the clueless one is now… It means that when
you left hell and were born into me you left behind your divinity. Your power,
your apathy… it’s all gone. You can now have desire, fear, remorse… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">What could I possibly
desire?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">I think that’s something only you can figure out big guy. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">This doesn’t make
sense. Go away Clive. I need to think.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">_____________<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">I walk back to the
asylum. That’s where this whole thing started yesterday. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">REDEMPTION<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Still there in big,
bold, blue letters. Redemption. What could that mean? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Moving in closer I saw
something painted much smaller underneath it: <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;"><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">How you have fallen</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">from heaven,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">morning star,</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">son of the dawn!</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">You have been cast down to the
earth,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">you who once laid low the nations!</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><b><sup><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></sup></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">You said in your heart,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“I will ascend</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">to the heavens;</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">I will raise my throne</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">above the stars of God;</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">I will sit enthroned on the
mount of assembly,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">on the utmost heights</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">of Mount Zaphon.</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><b><sup><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></sup></b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">I will make myself like the Most
High.”</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">But you are brought down</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">to the realm of the dead,</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">to the depths</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">of the pit.” – Isaiah 14:12-15<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Staring, I feel as though those words envelop me. I
understand now. This feeling has been guilt. Guilt has riddled me since I was
born out of that coma. But how do I stop it? How do I gain redemption? <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Confession,
Repentance, and Death. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">What? <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;"> You’ve experienced the divinity of God. Your pride caused
you to feel inadequate and declare war on God. Then you fell. People say that
God doesn’t pick favorite but he does. Lucifer was his favorite. It’s been a
long time since you’ve heard that name hasn’t it? Then God declared His Son
Christ as being equal to God Himself. Lucifer became envious and Lucifer’s envy
of Christ caused him to act irrationally. But God was not all forgiving back
then was he? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;"> When he fell, Lucifer became spiteful towards God. He began
travelling the Earth, searching for wrong-doers and tempting the children of
God. Years passed by and Lucifer began to change. He forgot his own name and
bored the name given to him by the Jews. “Satan” or “Adversary.” He engulfed
himself in flame and began taking and punishing any of God’s children he could
tempt to stray. He became totally disconnected with God and yet in this
dissonance, he became one with God. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Now you have come here to
Earth once again. And in this place you have found a new calling. A new plan
for yourself. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">But I was supposed to end this world. Not be changed
by it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">You came here to ask for
forgiveness. And it is not unobtainable. God is no longer as unforgiving as he
used to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Who are you? You don’t sound like Clive. Where’s
Clive? <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Clive is safe. He is with his
family. Don’t worry about him. He is happy. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Wait… Does that mean you’re…?<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">________________<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">I wake up to the sunlight streaming in through my
window. Was I just visited by… No… Why would He? Clive?<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">No response. Well I guess I have to find redemption
now. But how? What was it He said? Confession… Repentance… and… Death. Death.
That’s it. I need to die. I need her. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Time passes as I sit and wait for her. The radio tells
me it’s been a busy day so I know she’ll be blaming me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">The air felt electric. I knew she was coming. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">“Welcome Catherine,” <i>I say right after she rudely busts my door
down. That was some nice mahogany. </i>“I’ve been anticipating this moment for
some time now.” <i>I wait a few minutes for
an apology and some compensation for my very expensive and exotic door. It
never comes. That bitch. </i>“I am here. In the Kitchen. Come and join me at
the table.” <i>I love talking like Yoda
whenever she’s a round. Especially because I know she doesn’t get the
reference. </i>“This is where Judas sat. Arguably my biggest success, he was.
Here he sat and schemed up the death of Christ.” <i>Total bullshit. I never said a word to Judas. That man was fucked up
all on his own. </i>“Come. Sit and eat with me. Join me in the flesh and blood
of Christ.” <i>I pull out a huge tray of
strawberry waffles and place it on the table. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">The bitch didn’t even move. </span></i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“Stupid bitch, I’m offering you a way out!” <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">“I’m Death! There is no way
out of Death! Death is inescapable!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">I could feel my heart pounding. I guess this is what
fear feels like. Despite my desire to die my human body still gave in to its
natural Fight of Flight reflexes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">“THEN TRY IT BITCH!” <i>I can feel her wrath rising. If there’s one
thing I know how to do it’s manipulate people. </i>“DO WHAT YOU CAME TO DO! You
think yourself free from your own Plan? Haha! You idiot.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">That did it. It pushed her over the edge. She threw
the table across the room. </span></i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“Shit
sugarlips! Don’t take it out on the mahogany!” <i>She didn’t even say thank you for the waffles. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">I could feel my blood pressure start to rise as she
pulled a knife from I-don’t-even-wanna-know-where and charged at me. I felt an
erection start to form in anticipation for my final breath. I closed my eyes.
Braced for impact. For one glorious moment, I could taste victory. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">But the knife never came. Then I came. I guess the
irony of the whole situation was just to much for my penis to handle. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;"> I began to
laugh. Partially because of the irony, partially because of my unexpected
ejaculation. Whatever the reason, I started to bellow. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">“You see Catherine? The Plan
transcends any of us, and most of all
you. You are bound to your own works.” <i>Unfortunately,
my brilliance was shining through again. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">Then, in order to keep up my façade, to not show
weakness, I wrapped my hands around her neck and pressed her face against the
window. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="color: white;">“Look at the stars
Catherine.” <i>Then more to myself than her
I said; </i>“A testimony to God’s far reaching touch.” <i>Then pretty much exclusively to myself; </i>“God doesn’t want you. God
doesn’t love you. One day you will see the real truth.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">I feel the tears start to well up. In a last ditch
effort to hold onto my dignity I say; </span></i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“You
wanted to dance, Catherine. You wanted to play. Well here I am. Come back when
you’re figured stuff out bitch.” <i>And I
threw her out my window. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: white;">Dammit. That was a nice window too. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
</div>
Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-74926171979825580792015-02-22T19:36:00.001-08:002015-04-11T20:07:49.180-07:00“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble” – Psalm 107:2<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #444444; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">“Forgive me
father for I have sinned.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #444444;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><span style="background-color: #444444;">“This is a bar
sweetheart, not a church.” </span><i style="background-color: white;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What’s really the difference? Both allow people to
intoxicate themselves with the idea that they can be forgiven of any
transgression without the need of redemption.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Alright I think you’ve had enough.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“RICK I SWEAR TO…” <i>The
salty taste soaked into my tongue before I registered the unholy water flowing
from my eyes<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey man, okay, calm down no need to tear up”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really? You’re crying? Dude that’s like, the third time
today.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>SHUT UP CLIVE. IT’S
BEEN A ROUGH DAY. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sorry sweetums, you wanna talk about it? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Blue. Why blue? It
could’ve been yellow. Or Magenta. Or Smaragdine.
But no, it had to be blue. I hate blue. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I understand that. All those years ago blue was the color
the my wife wore, the color of my little daughters eyes, the color of that
goddamned Subaru that ended their lives and changed mine forever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Blue. The color of the
sky. Of heaven. The color of God. I thought I was done with that fucking color
when I became his adversary. When I ceased to be his favorite. Apparently not. Yahweh,
the almighty asshole. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>_____________________<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Whenever people think
of hell they picture Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin as receiving the worst types
of punishment God has to offer. That’s not true; the lowest layer of hell is reserved
for one man. Levi Hutchins, the inventor of the alarm clock. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Rolling over to turn
off the infernal and saw the time </i>6:66am. <i>Yeah yeah, I know that’s </i>7:06 <i>and
it’s a bit cliché</i> <i>but what’s the
point of having your own number if you can’t have a little fun with it? <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Stepping outside I
could tell it was gonna be a good day. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The blue flashes of
police sirens drove past. All four this slum has. This oughta be interesting. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Using my Nancy
Drew-like skills I managed to tail the 12 down to the asylum on Herbert Johnson
Rd. and there I saw his body. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I had never met this
man before. Never seen him before. That’s impossible. I saw all sin.
Everything. But this man… He was new to me. Even without the blue paint… His
soul was new to me. It was clean. Free from sin. I began to cry. For the first
time in 6000 years I cried. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>For an hour I laid
there, weeping for the first and only man I had ever seen that didn’t deserve
to die, dead. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>When I awoke on the
ground, my face still wet with salt water, the scene was clear. They took this
man away without even knowing who it was they were truly carrying, an angel. I
stood up. Something caught my eye. On the other side of the asylum some man had
spray painted a single word across the wall. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #7030a0;">REDEMPTION</span><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Fuck. Not again. Tears
began to roll trickle down my face. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“GO AWAY!!!” He began to beat against the word, trying to
erase it while the paint still dried. He tried to destroy the evidence of his
weakness, his deepest desire, before it became permanent. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUP!!!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point he couldn’t see anything between the tears and
paint that he began smearing all of his face and hands. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“SHUT UP CLIVE! JUST SHUT UP!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Clive?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I looked up to see the
woman who lives down the hall, Alice Franklin. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“</i>Clive are you
okay?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. It’s just the suicide and everything.
I just freaked out a little bit.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay. Do you need any help getting home?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’M FINE”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was just ask…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP. I DON’T NEED ANYBODY’S HELP.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>To prove myself, I
stood up and walked away, leaving the woman standing there stunned. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I stumbled through the
streets until I finally found myself behind O’Harley’s. After taking a breath
the events of today began to rush into my head. In an effort to keep myself
from crying again, I began to laugh. Hysterically laugh. I laughed until a
little girl strolled up to me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“</i>DID YOU DO
THIS???” <i>Alright fuck this. I’m getting
real tired of the crazy-ass women blaming me for things I didn’t do. </i>“Do
you think this is funny, people dying, other’s pain?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Funny? Do I think it’s
funny? Does this girl think I asked for this? Any of this? Does she think I
want to do God’s dirty work? I want nothing more than to… No. She can’t know
anything about that. How could she? She’s probably just as scared and confused
as I am. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m sorry”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I need a drink. I got
up and walked into the bar.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“</i>Forgive me father
for I have sinned.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-67062376721161973302015-01-31T18:08:00.002-08:002015-02-01T18:27:55.949-08:00"If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out." - Mark 9:43<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Heart racing, I inspected the little cone of sweet,
harvested seduction to ensure there were no blemishes. After all, even Jesus
was allowed to have a last supper. Cole Harrison sat there; unaware that he
would be the first to bring about a new age. He would be the first to be seen
before the court of the Father. A court that only had one ruling: guilty. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Thank you,” he said in his soft Irish twang. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“What would you consider your biggest sin?” he
looked at me as though I had given him a plate of tiny human hearts instead of
the delectable waffles that sat there staring back at him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“That’s a bit personal to be asking a man you just
met isn’t it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“I’d say it is envy.” I sat down next to him. Knife
in hand. In that moment, my only desire was to finally touch my hands to that
red river held inside every man and woman. To finally wash my hands of this
liquid lust and replace it with the blood of the lamb.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">The man stared at me. Perplexed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“You want your nephew don’t you? But you can’t have
him?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Cole stood there. Petrified. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“How did you… I mean. I never told you…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“You’re jealousy has pushed you away from him they
call God. You would do well to repent.” <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Clive you idiot. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“I should really go check on my apartment.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">As Cole moved towards the door, Clive sat. He easily could’ve caught the
Irishman and ended his life, but he didn’t. Instead, Clive Buccatti began to
cry. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">_____<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> I could
barely see through the tears streaming down my face. It’s not a good
combination: running and crying. I didn’t know where I was running to or what I
was crying for but instead of questioning it I just cried. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Blindly, I ran across town. Past the Sunny-Side Up
Diner, the home of gluttony, past the Church of Faith, the resting place for
sinners and their false idols, past the YMCA, home of pride and envy. Finally I
stopped. In front of the Pit. I stood on the edge. Looking down, I saw
blackness. I wished, for that moment, that I could live the life of Absalom. To
be cast into the pit. To be buried under those stones. To die. I closed my eyes
and prepared myself to fall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Stop. Just stop. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I’m telling you to stop. Suicide is so boring. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Who are you? What do you want? Why do you keep
speaking to me? Whispering to me? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Are you really that dense? You haven’t figured it out yet? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">FIGURED WHAT OUT YET??? WHAT ARE YOU???<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I am he. I am the Angel of the bottomless pit. Accuser of the brethren.
I am he they call Beelzebub. The Serpent of Old. The Great tempter. I am the
Morning Star. Lucifer. I am the Devil. And you are all these things as well. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I… I don’t understand. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Good lord… YOU’RE THE FUCKING DEVIL INCARNATE. Good god almighty do I
need to spell it out for you? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">You’re lying. You’re just a voice. A voice in my
head. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">No. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I can shut you out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">You don’t seem to get it. I am not in your thoughts. You are in mine.
You only believe you have free will because I allow it. But I could take it
away just as easily. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">You’re lying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Don’t you find it strange how long it’s been since you’ve thought about
your family? I mean I thought you loved that bitch wife of yours and your
shitty little three-year old. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Fuck you. Shut the fuck up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> I control everything you think,
do, and say. We are the same. Just as I am the devil, so too are you. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Fuck you. You ca… Artichoke.
Antidisestablishmentarianism. Michael Cera’s unbelievably sexy pencil mustache.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Now do you get it? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Hey. Are you alright?” I looked up at the boy’s
concerned face and knew that my argument hadn’t been contained to my thoughts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Oh” <i>Clive
stammered. </i>“Sorry. I was just…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Hey. It’s alright. No need to explain. I just
wanted to make sure that you were alright.” <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I stared at the boys yellow hair. I could see it in his eyes that he was
totally gay.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Not that there’s anything wrong with that. <o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_______<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’d forgotten about
her. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hello Clive. Hello… Lucifer. I see you decided to stop
playing nice.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey babe, take it ea…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The bitch pushed me
against a wall. ME. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“First off, I am not your babe. No one talks to me like
that. Secondly, the minute you start taking lives, the minute you begin to
interfere with The Plan, I will speed up Clive’s chapter. I will take him from
you so quickly,”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“God you’re sexy when you’re angry.” <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Did you not hear me? I will kill your body.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you honestly think that’ll stop me? Empty threats? C’mon
Catherine you can do better than that. Or would you rather me call you Mrityu? <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">Śmierć?</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"> </span></span>Malach HaMavet? Dea…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do not… Say… It… We are done here. You have been warned.
You’ve already interrupted The Plan once. Don’t do it again.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>She was gone before I
could even make a comeback. It was gonna be a good one too. That bitch. But
what did she mean about interrupting The Plan? I mean, don’t get me wrong I
fully intend take her plan and shove it right up her ass but… I haven’t done
anything yet. Looks like she made a mistake. About damn time. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
</div>
</div>
Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-72915031619847840792015-01-20T21:32:00.001-08:002015-01-26T05:48:19.619-08:00"But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars--their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur." - Revelations 21:8 (Apartment 43)<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Clive Buccatti got up. Clive Buccatti plodded outside.
Clive Buccatti decided to start each sentence with “Clive Buccatti” pretty much
just to piss off anyone who would want Clive Buccatti to do otherwise. Damn did
you see that? Not even using pronouns anymore. Just “Clive Buccatti”. Clive
Buccatti wrote… <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">As the sun shined into the 43<sup>rd </sup></span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">apartment of Dreamwood Terrace, my eyelids retreated back into my into
my skull leaving my freshly dilated pupils to fend for themselves against the
harsh light intensified by the reflecting off of the snow that reminded me all
too much of my inner…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Man this guy’s pretentious. Skip to something interesting please.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">So I decided to go outside. The snow came up to
about my waist. Fuck the snow. The monotonous weather event just furthered my
hatred for this mundane slum we call a town. I took my first step into the…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Holy shit could you go any slower??? I mean we get it you’re depressed.
Literally no one cares. Man depression is so boring. That’s it I’m taking over.
Sit back Clive. You can tell the story when it’s your turn. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Alright where were we? Oh yeah. So Clive was walking through the snow
and wondering how to further describe how the snow reminded him of how much of
a little bitch he was when he noticed a congregation of people inside that
shitty diner next to his apartment complex. Now because Clive was such a
deadbeat he wasn’t really accustomed to being around people. So he kept moving.
He walked over to that little cupcake shop to see if the women he had met that
one time was working there. She was. Now Clive was so socially awkward that he
found it difficult to talk to his inner demons (no matter how badass they may
appear) let alone some hot babe. So he decided to just look at her and continue
to wonder where he knew her from. Yes he still had not realized it was <b>*SPOILER ALERT*</b> the girl from that
dream he had earlier in that same blog post. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">After not realizing the second most obvious plot twist in human history
(Next to the resurrection of Christ. I mean seriously? That’s not exactly M.
Night Shamalan level stuff) Clive decided to go back to his sad excuse for an
apartment. Alright, I guess I’ll let him tell the rest. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">The man sat on the floor outside of his apartment
with his head between his legs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Hello?” I asked. The man looked up at me with a
look that I couldn’t quite place as disdainful or bored. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Hey,” he said in broken Irish accent. I could
almost taste the sin dripping off of this man like sweat. Envy. Cowardess. <i><o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Irish.</span></i><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
"What's your name?"<br />
<br />
"Cole. Cole Harrison."<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Why’re you sitting out here?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“My place is being searched.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“Oh,” I said as the first smile I had had in years
started to creep across my face, “Well my place is just around the corner
there. Wanna come in for some strawberry waffles?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-10668169104306727432015-01-11T12:29:00.003-08:002015-01-11T12:29:59.696-08:00"And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." - 2 Corinthians 11:14<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">"What makes Satan so evil?"
Clive asked the girl as he was cleaning off the knife he had just used to cut
up strawberries for their waffles. "What?" she responded. Clive
thought she was truly beautiful. It was such a shame he was going to have to
kill her. "Well," Clive responded, "In the bible. What makes God
so good and Satan so bad? After all Satan only ever killed ten people whereas
God killed millions." The girl stared at Clive like he crazy. They usually
did. "Um," the girl said, "I mean isn't the reason he's so bad
that he tempts people? Like with Eve in that garden?" Clive picked up
their waffles and brought them over to the girl on his couch. "So what
you're saying is that when I tempt you by offering you this waffle," Clive
could feel the knife pulsating in his back pocket. It wanted to take this
ignorant girl's life, "That I am essentially the devil himself?" The
girl took a bite of her waffle. "Well no but..." "AND!"
Clive exclaimed, "Does you accepting this waffle then make you a sinner
because you gave into temptation?" The girl was speechless. This is to be
expected since the guy was... What's the politically correct term for
"Fucking Insane"? I can never remember these things... "Well
then" said Clive as he gripped the knife in his back pocket, "as a
sinner I suppose it's time for you to be judged by my God and Father." Then
Clive pulled out the knife and...</span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">After waking up
from that dream I knew it was going to be one of <i>those </i>days. I’d had invasive dreams like that before (hell I have
them while I’m awake) but that one felt… different somehow. It’s that I felt
scared or concerned by this… I don’t know. It was something. I could tell just
through the crack in my curtain that the sun was feeling particularly ignescent
today. I wouldn’t have gone outside if it weren’t my appointment. Unfortunately
I had to go to see Dr. Clemont. Isn’t there some rule about quacks being
therapists? Cause Dr. Clemont isn’t exactly all there (sorry if you’re reading
this Doc but you told me to be truthful). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Unfortunately Dr. Clemont’s office was
in downtown, not in Dreamwood where I lived. This wouldn’t have been a problem
except it involved getting on the subway. I hated being on the subway. Being
underground always made me feel uneasy and yet… strangely at home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Evil. Sinner. Blasphemous. How is it that the same
words can be so beautiful and so terrible at the same time? Why is it that
humanity, after everything, hasn’t been able to define the most archaic of
ideas? Good vs Evil. Light vs Dark. Comedy vs Tragedy. Moral vs Immoral. Maybe
if we were different it would be more complicated but to me, with humanity, it
seems so much simpler. There is just Evil. There is just Darkness. Just
Tragedy. Just Immoral. Every decision anyone makes is selfish. People only help
others so they can feel good about themselves. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">These were thoughts running through my
head in the waiting room of Dr. Clemont’s when she walked up. By the look on
her face I guess I must have been thinking out loud again. I have to remember
to stop doing that while in a shrink’s office. So while I’m thinking this girl
walks up. Usually I just don’t humor people who try to talk to me but there was
something different about this one. She was so beautiful she almost made me
forget about Elizabeth. She also seemed familiar to me. Like I’d seen her
before. In any case, she talked to me for a good long while about nothing in particular
before I finally got bored with her. She said she owned some cupcake place and
asked if I’d visit. <i>Anything to shut you
up.</i> So I said sure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">After my extremely uneventful therapy
session where I didn’t discover anything about myself or my little friend in my
head I went home. When night rolled around I decided to take a walk like
Clemont had told me to. I couldn’t stop thinking about my dream and what made
it feel different. I was walking past the old asylum on Herschel Johnson Rd.
when a meteor shower began overhead. Uncontrollably, I dropped to the ground
and was overcome by an unprecedented display of ecstasy. It was in that moment
that I figured out what was so unnerving about my devastatingly inhuman dream.
It wasn’t that it made me feel scared or concerned. It was that it didn’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875059944011323761.post-40066739348792443962014-12-16T22:07:00.003-08:002015-01-11T11:44:53.481-08:00"It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and those who live in heaven." -Revelations 13:7<span style="font-family: inherit;">It started with a second. All of a
sudden I was immersed in total darkness. That second stretched into minutes,
days, weeks, years. I spent an eternity in utter blackness. I saw everything.
Everything that has been. Everything that will be. All the lies. All the
truths. Everything. For an eternity I lived and relived. Went in and out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It all started with a car crash. The
drunk driver came out of nowhere and hit my car. In that moment I lost
everything. I lost my wife, my seven year old son, my eleven month old daughter
in the back seat, my sanity. After that I lost ten years of my life to my
comma. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The doctors said that I was lucky to
have woken up and that I had to be careful because I could slip back into my
comma pretty easily. So you can imagine that when the power went out that night I thought the worst. For that split second I was terrified and
yet, strangely relieved. For years I’d considered the possibility of suicide.
Just to see my family again. That’s probably why my shrink made me start
writing this blog… But how can I help it? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">She was the only one who understood me.
The only one that didn’t mind my… abnormalities. Even when I had an episode,
she was there with me all the way through it. Back then my episodes didn’t come
nearly as often as they do anymore. Life was so much simpler. I heard them
every once in a while but now they exist with me. They are now a part of me.
The voices don’t leave. They’re a constant. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Constantly
whispering. Sometimes screaming. When I’m alone in my apartment I can hear
them. When I’m walking down Main Street I hear him. Even in the midst of a
crowded room I hear him above them all. Constantly, ever whispering “This
is the deceiver and the antichrist.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Clive Buccattihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05599467743196163134noreply@blogger.com2